Trials of My Own Heart (9/18/09)

As I woke up this morning, I thought where am I? For the first time in weeks- I woke up by myself, not because of dump trucks or hammering. After yesterday’s brief moment of insanity due to dump trucks and constant hammering in the condo next to mine- I thought I was on a vacation this morning since I woke up and heard the gentle, encouraging music coming from my radio- nothing else!

Yesterday was a mixed bag of emotions. It started out with insanity and moved into a relaxing time for me making a “Winnie-the-Pooh” flower pot baby.

However, while making this craft, the ringing of my cell phone made my heart skip a beat. As I looked at my phone, I looked back at Luke and said- “Well, here goes…” I was receiving my call back from my interview at Liberty and was being informed that I had come in second place. This information was followed by encouraging words of how well I presented myself and offered to recommend me to another department. 
After getting off the phone, I was mixed with all kinds of emotions. Initially I was numb, then sad, but then I remembered… ‘what had I been praying and asking everyone else to pray for during this time… that’s right- if this is not the right job for me- then close the door Lord.’ After talking to Luke, I came to the conclusion that God has a perfect job for me somewhere else; this was just a door in the process that had to be opened- if nothing more than to just encourage me. While I thought that was the job- we all know that God truly knows all and He answered my prayers. Thank You Abba!!

Initially I was embarrassed to share that I had not received the job and was actually apologetic to Luke for not receiving the job; but of course, he reassured and encouraged me. (I am so blessed to have him for a husband).

Struggling with day to day emotions that act as spiritual warfare can be tiring and wearing on one. Something I have been trying to tame for a couple of weeks now. I feel as though not receiving this job will actually encourage and help in my “war”. Words of encouragement that I have received have helped me climb up the treacherous stairs and I had fallen partially down. After getting a wonderful night’s rest and being able to reflect on how God has been working in my life- I am more on fire to see what He has planned for me in the future and less focused on my present state. It has allowed me to see all the wonderful, Godly people that He has surrounded Luke and me to encourage us, pray for us and support us.

Thank you for listening and allowing me to share with you the trials of my personal heart~ Jessica